Arianna and Michael (Arianna) – #4 January 13th, 2002

Okay well the dreaded period is over…thank god! I’ve still got a bit of pain and such but it’s almost over. Still having some issues with lactating, but right now my biggest concern is that I was a total monster with PMS this time and I’m depressed.

Not quite sure if it’s the endo causing the depression or if it’s cause I’m worried about how my life is going to turn out in regards to when I’ll get to be with Michael permanently, but something sure has me depressed. I’m not as affectionate as I normally am and I can’t seem to get past a few things, I just seem to be throwing myself into my course work and staring at a computer screen. Well I guess that’s enough of this journal entry since it seems to be straying from the endo side of things. Wonder what Michael will post in response to this?

Misty’s Endo Story

My Endo Story

by: Misty Fout


In the Winter of 1994, I gave birth to my youngest daughter by c-section. I had so many female problems with her. My blood pressure shot up sky high and was rushed into intensive care which including becoming toxic. When she was delivered after 26 hours the doctor and anesthesiologists came to my bedside and told me that something was wrong. They wanted to admit me to the Hospital. I was not in the state of mind to answer and my husband at the time said “no”. Well, needless to say I came home and was still suffering problems from delivery. I had to be put on blood pressure medications.

A few years past in the summer of 1997 I became very ill after I delivered my second child (she was also by c-section and including tubes tide). He also, cut the nerves to the ovary to try to stop the pain, but it was still there. I laid in bed three weeks out of a month with pain shooting in the abdominal area. I called my obgyn and he took me in to his room, but to only diagnose me with Gas. After a couple years passed I became more demanding of my obgyn to go in and take a look. Even though his mid-wife all along kept telling him that I had endometriosis. So, In 2000 I got my first lap done. He found nothing and I just started crying because I felt hopeless of finding out where the pain was coming from. I did a little bit of researching on the net about this disease his mid-wife was telling me about. The symptoms were almost the exact thing I was feeling. So, I took my pictures and compared them with others on the net. Unexplained red rash was on it and apart of the ovary was uncovered (didn’t have the white coating on it). I then found me another doctor the beginning of 2001. It didn’t take but one week to get into surgery, and come to find out I had Endometriosis in stage I with the paracolonic gutter ablivated with adhesions. Including was a chocolate cysts that had been leaking (same ovary that was uncovered). By this time the cyst was so large that it was bigger then the ovary itself. However, it was not removed during surgery. I was put on a medication to decrease the size. The pain and torture my first obgyn let me go through was a nightmare. My current obgyn said “You need a hysterectomy”. I told him “No!”. Which only being 25 years old I feel its way to soon yet. He put me on Synarel and it did work but, I suffered severe sore joints. He never tested me for bone loss. He then put me on Danocine. He never did any type of liver check either. There supposed to check your liver and your possible bone loss while on the medication. While I was on it, it was a total nightmare because my blood pressure shot up for the first time in a couple years. I felt sick all the time. I decided to just go off of it and I have never felt better being off the medications, but still have my pain and symptoms but, I don’t hurt after I have my period for a week.

I have been suffering from pain in the lower back, back sides, hips, leg shooting to knee, joints sore, abdominal swelling, painful bowel movements and frequent urination and uncontrollable leakage. I have also lost the feeling in my left leg and this only starts when I start ovulating to the end of period. I am currently seeing a neurologist to see what this is from. One of my doctors seems to think that its due from the adhesions effecting the nerve endings. I have been experiencing mild headaches that lasts for a couple days (never had this experience) and I have had the same cold for 6 months. The cold seems to get better with medication but when I get off of them it comes back. I was told by the EA that it could possibly be Autoimmune dysfunction. This is only the beginning of fighting back. I know this disease can be very depressing. I have a history of depression.


There is nothing like to know something like this is in your body and your body tells you everyday “there is a battle”. I’ve walked your road and I know how you feel.

Post Traumatic Endometriosis Syndrome

hink I might be suffering from “Post Traumatic Endometriosis Syndrome.”
The DSM-IV classifies “Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome” as having the following criteria:

The person has experienced a traumatic event that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others, and the person’s response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror;

The traumatic event is re-experienced in specific ways such as recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections or dreams of the event;

Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma or numbing of general responsiveness;

Persistent symptoms of increased arousal, such as hypervigilance or irritability;

Duration of the disturbance is more than one month; and

The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in functioning.

I can’t find any classifications in the DSM-IV for the following, more specific criteria:

The person has experienced a traumatic event such as Endometriosis, in which she sustained repeat surgeries and/or ineffective medications, to which her response involved intense fear, helplessness, horror and suffering in silence;

The traumatic events of life with her incurable disease is re-experienced in specific ways such as recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections or dreams, such as memories of surgery and/or ongoing or previous pain associated with the disease;

Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma or numbing of general responsiveness, such as the avoidance of normal social interaction, for fear of having a “pain attack,” or avoidance of such settings as baby showers and the like, for fear of having an emotional breakdown due to one’s own infertility;

Persistent symptoms of increased irritability, due to living in chronic pain and having such symptoms summarily dismissed on a regular basis by healthcare providers and loved ones alike;

Duration of the disturbance is more than one month, sometimes even more than 15 or 20 years; and

The disease causes clinically significant distress or impairment in functioning.

I qualify for almost all of the above criteria. Anyone else? Having not been able to find a suitable classification for this disorder, I have now begun calling it “Post Traumatic Endometriosis Syndrome.” It fits.

Rarely do I share such personal introspection on my private battle with the disease, for I fear to do so would show a crack in my armor of hope. I have been Endometriosis-free for nearly 3 1/2 years – physically. Mentally, I still live in the shadow of the dragon, fearing that it will someday return. Like a bad dream, my memories of how it was to live everyday in pain and emotional anguish haunt me. It further saddens me to see so many women still suffering, even in this day and age of supposed medical miracles. Where is the CURE?

I wonder if I will ever be truly free from the encumbrance of this disease? Thanks to a wonderful specialist, I am physically disease-free, and what’s more, I won my 6 year battle over Endometriosis-related infertility, having my miracle child before succumbing to a complete hysterectomy. I beat my Endometriosis!

So why am I still worried about an illness that should be nothing more than just a fleeting memory?

I may be “well” of Endometriosis, but the disease has made a lasting mark on my body – and my soul. The residual post-Endometriosis problems I deal with now are negligible compared to my 15 year battle against stage 4 diseaseā€¦but they remind me that I am only but one step ahead of Endometriosis at all times. People often ask me why I still frequent the online Endometriosis community spots and why I have dedicated my life’s work to raising awareness and providing education about the disease, even though I am “well.” The truth of the matter is, I feel if I do not continue my efforts, then I discontinue my fight against the disease altogether.

“Post Traumatic Endometriosis Syndrome” or not, I intend to see this battle through to the end, resting only when the disease is eradicated from all of our lives for good. Join me in the war against this enigmatic illness – arm yourselves with knowledge, hope for the future, and the assuredness that our time of victory over Endometriosis will come one day soon.


Copyright (c) by Heather C. Guidone. All Rights Reserved. Do not Reproduce Without Express Permission From Author.

New Breast Cancer Treatment Drugs!

Not quite endo related directly, but in the future it may be, many drugs that are used to help women with endo are primarily cancer treatment agents or are used in combination with other drugs to treat cancer. There has been a dramitic improvement in some breast cancer treating drugs – they will become available widespread in the uk in about 3 years.. Click to read a short snippet from the BBC website along with a URL for the article.

A new generation of breast cancer drugs have proved to be more effective than tamoxifen for some post-menopausal women, suggests research.
The drugs, known as aromatase inhibitors, shrank tumours better and helped more women survive their illness.

However, is not clear if they will replace tamoxifen as the first-choice treatment for some types of breast cancer, and are unlikely to be available to UK women for some time.

(Cut from BBC) for rest go to here

BBC Site

Arianna and Michael (Michael)- #2 November 15th 2001

For me tonight was a better night, though I suspect not for Arianna…

Well tonight was a bit different to last night, Arianna was definately in a more cuddly mood, and she was missing having me to hug with etc… After a bit Arianna started to cry but this subsided after a while unlike the previous night, I’ve no doubt she was in as much pain but she seems to cope with it better after a few days, compared to when she was in pain constantly her reactions are more extreme when it starts up again, this is unfortunate – but I am thankful she is not in a lot of pain everyday as she was before August’s operation. thats all for now . Michael Helm

Arianna and Michael (Michael) – #1 14th Nov 2001

Well, tonight was not a good night for Arianna, she was in quite a bit of pain….

It started for me around 11:50pm when we started talking over netmeeting, Arianna was crying and I couldn’t help being in another country makes it hard sometimes, she has this searing pain down her left side which happens every month due partially to endometriosis and due to stress and the like with mid-terms and stuff, it is very hard on both herself and me unfortunately, maybe when she is in the country with me I can offer more support and be there for her when I am needed – sometimes it makes you feel a bit helpless though :(. Anyway enough for now – Michael helm

Arianna and Michael (Arianna)- #1 November 14th 2001

Seeing as Michael has written his side of the journal, I thought that I should post my side of it.

The pain was really bad when I woke up yesterday morning, after only getting 2 hours sleep Monday night. It kept getting worse through out the day and by the time I went to bed last night it was so bad I was crying and sobbing. It felt like it originated on my left side but then it would spread out until my whole pelvic area seemed to be being attacked with sharp hot knives. There is no other way to describe the pain. It’s like someone is shoving hot, sharp knives into me and twisting them and pulling them out. Sometimes it feels like osmeone is ripping my insides out. Michael is right in saying that it is hard with us being in two different countries. I just hope things do get easier when I move over there.

Song by T Contributed by Cazza

With one light on in one room,

i can feel the cramps when i get home,

with one small step upon the stair,

I know this pain, i can feel it there

If ENDO were a king up there on it’s throne,

would it be wise enough to leave me alone,

for this queen it thinks it owns,

wants to be painfree again,

wants to see the world alone again,

to make plans in life again, so let me go.

The unread book and painfull look,

the heat pads on, i’m lying down,

one deep breath, then it begins.

Oh look at the pain i’m in.

If ENDO were a king up there on it’s throne,

would it be wise enough to leave me alone,

for this queen it thinks it owns,

wants to be painfree again,

wants to see the world alone again,

to make plans in life again,

so let me go, leave me alone.

For the pain you cause inside my tum, feels so awful now,

and i dont know how to cope with it but i’ll try anyhow,

and all the time i’m thinking, thinking,

I want to be painfree again,

want to see the world alone again,

to make plans in life again,

so leave me alone……

Another gr8 song by Cheryl F

I’ve known a few gyni’s who thought they were pretty smart……

But U got fobbing me off down to an art……

You think your a genius, You drive me up the wall….

You’re a regular, original, ENDO know it all…..

Oh Whoa…..U think your special…..

Oh whoa…..U think your something else……

OK….so you’re a GYNAECOLOGIST….

That dont impress me much…ba ba ba ba..

So U got the brains but have U got a surgeons touch….

Now now, dont get me wrong…yeah I think you’re alright….. But that wont stop the pain in the middle of the night…….That dont impress me much…

Uh huh yeah……

Well I went to my gyni……

He said hmm ENDO I suppose…..

So I had a 2nd opinion…… Just in case….

Now all that extra information I’ve got….oughta shock him………cos heaven forbid if he should misdiagnose…….

Oh whoa U think your special

Oh whoa U think your something else……..

OK..so you’re a GYNAECOLGIST…..

That dont impress me much ……..ba ba ba ba

So you’ve had a look

And you aint saying much……now now

Dont get me wrong ….yeah I think your alright….

But that wont stop my PAIN in the middle of the night

Uh huh yeah…..YOU DONT IMPRESS ME MUCH……

Hope this cheers some of U up….

Take care

Cheryl F xxxxx

Copyright (c) words by Cheryl Ferey. Guidone. All Rights Reserved

Song by Jojo

Endo pain is driving me crazy

And I haven’t had any sex lately

But Y’know I’ve had endo on my mind

When it hurts I am filled with emotion

And my hubby is showing his devotion

Cos a pain like this is hard to describe

I know I been walking around in a daze……….endo endo

But these pills leave me in a haze………..Whoo hoo

Wherever U go

Endos with U

Whatever U do

Endos with U

The cures not simple

Endo lives in U

The cures not simple………Endos in you

It’ll always Be there in U honey

You know it’ll never go away……..hey hey

Its always inside of you baby……

So just live day by day…..whoo hoo

Wherever U go

Endos with U

Whatever U do

Endos with U

The cures not simple…………hey hey

Endo lives in U

The cures not simple………Endos in U

Copyright (c) words by Jo Woolard. All Rights Reserved

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